Friday, May 27, 2011

New Beginnings

So this is my beginning, sort of, or at the very least the beginning of another try at weight loss.  And the first blog I've ever attempted.

Here's the skinny on me (yeah I used skinny on purpose, it's supposed to be funny because I'm not).  I don't have any horror stories of being molested as a child or abused in any way that made me turn to food for comfort.  I don't have any mommy or daddy issues (at least none that I know of).  I just grew up in an American society of finish your plate, no matter what's on it.  I grew up eating all the genetically engineered food that now scientists are realizing are bad for us...big surprise there.  But here's the real kick in the pants, even though I know it's bad for me and that I shouldn't eat (insert any fast food or high in taste low in nutrition food here), I can't seem to stop myself, and for good reason.

More and more studies are coming out showing that food is addictive. (read "The End of Overeating by David Kessler MD, any of Michael Pollan's books or even Jillian Michaels' books)  The more sugar, salt and/or fat a food has, the better the taste, the better it tastes, the more we recall it when we have a craving.  Studies have been coming out on the addictive properties of food ( has a good listing of about 35 recent articles from established universities and institutions from around the world).  A lot focusing on the neurology and genetics of food addiction.  Basically, it's easy to get addicted to food if you're given the right culture.  And I grew up with just the perfect conditions for such an addiction.

I remember going to McDonald's almost every weekend with my Dad so Mom could have a break.  McDonald's was actually my first word after mommy and daddy, shameful to admit but true.  I wasn't an overweight or obese child.  I was never a stick either.  I was never made to eat my veggies or fruit, they weren't important.  We ate dinner late at night, and I usually skipped breakfast and would snack all the time.  I honestly do not know if I know what hunger feels like.  Which is extremely sad not just because that means that I eat when I'm not hungry, but also because the majority of people in this world know far too well what true hunger means.

After 30 years of overeating I am now 236 lbs at 5'9".  But considering that just to be at the top of my healthy BMI range I need to lose 76 lbs, it's startling, even to me, and I've been this weight for about a year now.  I know that I do tend to hold on to and/or gain weight when stressed.  I am probably eating more when I'm stressed, even though I haven't really noticed.

So here we are.  I'm fat, I'm extremely unhealthy, but most importantly I'm ready to change!  I've started this blog to hold myself accountable.  One day at a time.  I bought a skimpy bikini that I plan to wear on vacation with my husband next spring.  So for the next year I have a goal to blog everyday.  Gradually changing my habits.  I also have a goal to lose 2 lbs each week.  Which is safe and completely doable.  I'm ready! I have no idea if anyone will ever be reading this or follow along.  But here we go...

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